About

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Welcome to MisterMommy.com!  My name is Tom, and I am a stay at home dad. I take this job very seriously. At this website, you will find resources for stay at home dads, true stories about kids and the sometimes serious, often times hilarious things that they say and do, personal perspectives on the importance of fatherhood, and more!

Story of a (reluctant at first) Stay at Home Dad

Starbucks at night

After our first son, TJ was born, I was able to work part-time for Starbucks. I didn’t hate the job, but it was frustrating to see other, less qualified, much younger people get promoted over me simply because their availability was open. Being a dad put a cramp on my hours of availability, especially once my wife returned to her (much) higher paying job. My hours were reduced at that point to weekends, with a small window of availability on Tuesday mornings from 4:30 AM to 11:00 AM. So, my wife and I felt like two ships in the night as we sailed past each other every Saturday, Sunday, Friday night, and Tuesday morning.

Shortly before my second son, Rowan, was born, I resigned from the illustrious, posh life of a barista and started working at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility as a clinical aide. As a recovering addict myself, I thought this would be a fantastic way to help the community, and provide a venue in which to “give back” by helping others who were going through something that I had direct experience with and had overcome. The only drawback was that this position was overnight.

Once Rowan arrived, it became abundantly clear that this new overnight position was unsustainable. I would wake up at 10:00 at night, drive to work, work from 11:00 P.M. to 7:30 A.M. and be home by 8:00, just in time to kiss my wife goodbye as she walked out the door for her 9 to 5. At noon, my mom would come over to babysit our sons so that I could (try to) sleep, although I never really got more than 4 hours of sleep a day combined for those few months.

Ultimately, I ended up losing my position at the rehab facility after I told them that once my wife’s maternity leave was over, I would only be available part-time on the weekends.

I found myself feeling trapped, isolated, and, quite frankly, feeling like I wasn’t a “man”, and not just because I wasn’t the breadwinner of the family. I was getting out of shape, my health was starting to suffer, my relationship with my wife was routinely getting placed on the back burner, and I didn’t know how I was going to “make it”, or even what “making it” looked like. All the support I was able to find online was geared towards stay at home moms, or at best, gender-neutral stay at home parents.

Something needed to give, as the culmination of these stressors was robbing me of the most important thing that I had to offer my children: my undivided time, energy, and presence.  It was this “perfect storm” of events that led me to creat mistermommy.com.

My Mission

In a nutshell, I want to help fellow fathers who face similar struggles understand that they aren’t alone, and that they can still achieve their goals, while being an awesome dad! Whether it’s finding time to hit the gym, finding other parents in your local community, arranging play dates, providing links to outside resources in your area, sharing tips and tricks, making new friends, or just having a good laugh at some of the hilarity that ensues during the journey, my hope is that you will find it here.

Not an Island

My goal is that no father ever feels alone in their journey. No man is an island unto himself. We all need help from time to time, and I hope that this website will be a place of refuge, a source of strength and friendship, and a resource for all things “dad”!

If you ever need a hand or have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to help you out.

All the best,

Tom

www.mistermommy.com

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